In my back and in my liver I was rotting with death. Whatever they’d say, the doctors, it didn’t matter. It was already in me. I wanted to think positively, to have hope, to really believe that I could make it through this easily. But I was already blown out. Twenty minutes I spent like that, just crying my eyes out, sobbing and cursing. I wanted to just deny it all, pretend I never heard anything and admonish this diagnosis from reality. I wanted to wake up and this would all be one terrible dream and I would be home in bed with my head rattling from another hangover. But my mother was right there, her arms around my shoulders. She was there to tell me it was going to be all right, that this would be dealt with and beat. She had never before done this, comforted me like this and tried to sooth my pain away. Least not since I was a small, scared child. But that was what I was once again, a scared little boy. Her presence, her compassion now brought its own bout of tears from me. And. Instantly I tried to avoid those thoughts."I'll not lie and say that what we have will be eternal, as much as I like to believe that" he said approaching me. "But I think I'll never have to hide from you." He wrapped my waist in his arms and lifted me, letting my backpack fall, and kissed me. "I think I'll never be able to forget you. The way you give yourself to me. The way you fear me but want to be mine... The way you trust me even knowing I'm no good..." he said brushing my hair from my neck and kissed it while I trembled incessantly. "I don't think someone like you would sell me out for any price, that's why I brought you here."Ok. That was enough to make me melt completely."... And I wanted to be alone with you and fuck your brains out with no concerns, obviously" he said laughing while pinching my ass.That was completely unnecessary "I will not sell you out, no matter how it ends, I promise you. " I said laughing too and he kissed me, then suddenly he threw me up and carried.
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